Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Week 34. Feeling great.

If it wasn't for the Hemorrhoids.

Yes, hemorrhoids. I knew I had it too easy with this pregnancy. I got away without nausea (for the most part), the constipation only lasted a little while until I discovered the miracle of prune juice and Lucerene yogurt, and not much else really (ok, so there is the heartburn - but nothing Tums can't solve, and the not sleeping - but I'm chalking it up to by body getting ready to be up all hours anyway!).

And so hemorrhoids. Woke up thismorning to bright red blood. Got a fright until I realized it was coming from the back door, and knew it had to be the dreaded 'roids that everyone tells me about. Called the BC Nurses Line just to be on the safe side. Their question: Are you sure it's not coming from your vagina? Yes, I'm sure. Then they had to go through a list of questions from their computer.. this next one totally freaked me out: "Is there a cord or a foot or anything sticking out of your vagina?"

WTF?! LOL! I looked at Donald and repeated the question to the nurse as I found it so bizarre. I mean, if there WAS a foot or cord coming out of my vagina, I think I'd be on my way to the loony bin hospital, and not chatting casually with her!

Anyway, she recommended I talk to my OB because I'm pregnant. (But hemorrhoids are part of pregnancy!). Anyway, she knows more than me in this department, after all, she is a nurse, so I hung up and called my OB. From there I got, "well, you're bleeding from your rectal area, not your vagina, so it's really something you should see your family doctor about, not us." And that made sense to me, so next call was to my GP. And they wanted to see me right away. So here we are, massive snow storm in Vancouver and we have to drive up hill to my GP.

And face the humiliation of an exam.

God. So humiliating. At least it only lasted 4 seconds.

And nothing to worry about - only a bout of 'roids.

So freakin' glamorous, this pregnancy has become.


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