Monday, December 29, 2008

Last night I dreamt that McDreamy was the OB delivering my baby (and he was very polite and friendly!). I was so nervous until a nurse gave me a quick pep talk and then I rolled over to my left side and started to deliver that way. He was crowning - and there was absolutely no pain at all. Just the sensation of my body doing what it's made to do. And then everything stopped; I was so shocked that it was so easy and so painless that I froze in disbelief. McDreamy then started talking to me and the baby, gently saying, "Come on, you can do it, quickly now" and there was a sense of calm urgency in the room. I knew I had to relax totally and work with my baby in order for him to come out naturally. I looked up at the wall calendar and it was January 27 (which is my due date). Then I woke up.


I'm not sleeping again. I get about 3 or 4 hours a night, then wake up for 3, then sleep again for 3 or so. I think I'm nervous about labor and delivery. Not so much for the actual birth as much as just the whole experience. I mean, I've never done it before. I have no point of reference (which I quite like. I'm much better at things when I don't know what I'm getting into.) and I know that each person's experience is different, so even when people are telling me what they went through I know that mine will be different. It will be my own. Which I love as well! And I'll be in a weird place, physically, that I'm not familiar with: the hospital. Full of people I don't know in scrubs and uniforms. I just want to make sure I can be as comfortable as I want to be. Make my room "my own" so to speak. I'll have to fill it with "Stephi energy" to be comfortable - but that's easy enough I suppose. I have this thing where I want everyone else to be ok and I put myself last. I never want to step on anyone's toes (Come on... who wants to piss off somebody that will be poking around your vagina for the better part of their day?!).
I'll just have to focus on putting myself first - after all, it's about the healthy delivery of my little guy and my own safety and joyful experience as well!

Also, he's just so active that he keeps me awake. Seriously, like an alien is inside of me, poking and prodding me from the inside. It's the most bizarre feeling. I love it! And yet it's still very bizarre to have a little creature inside of you living it's own little life right now. It won't be long until I get to see those movements up close and in person! Which brings me to....

...early signs of labour. What are they? My OB said that I'd definitely know, and I'm sure I will, but what are the signs? (Besides water breaking.) Let me know if I'm on the right track here. Knowing me I'll want to be alone and go somewhere by myself (must tell Donald to be aware of that, because in the midst of it all I probably won't realize it!).
  • Contractions that are regular and last for "x"- seconds instead of just here and there, and getting longer and stronger and closer together.

That's the only one I know of as a sure sign of labor. Anyone have any other tips for me?

As for my body getting ready to give birth, I've been told and/or have experienced a few of the following:

  • More frequent bowel movement(s)/diarrhea
  • Increased vaginal discharge - which is already happening
  • Baby slows down movements
  • Baby has "dropped" (but will I notice this? I hear that alot of the breathlessness will be gone (finally!), but other than that, will I know that he has dropped lower into my pelvis (or wherever they drop to?) Will I feel it? How can you not feel a baby pushing against your cervix, or wherever he lands...even if it is just the tip of his head!)
  • Increase in boob size? Or is this after birth and when your milk is coming in?
  • Wanting to nest. Yes, this has is happening too. I just want to stay at home with my husband and enjoy time with him.
So much stuff on the go! I'm so loving this whole experience. My pregnancy has been a dream, just so easy and uncomplicated. I'm so grateful for that. I've only got a few more weeks to go, let's focus on it staying that way!

All for now.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Can anyone recommend when is the best time (and how) to buy a few nursing bras? I'm 8 months along and want to grab a couple over the next week or so (remember, I had that dream that my little guy came on Jan 15) but I'm not sure how big my boobs will be getting once my milk comes in. Or if that even affects it.....


A Twitter friend recommended buying now and buying one cup-size bigger. Yes? No? Another Twitter friend recommended nursing tanks from Sears - and will look at those for when I'm around the house (gotta love tank tops!), but I just am not sure how to go about it. And how many should I buy? I tend to buy things like this in threes. One for now, one for later, one for just in case (hmmm... sounds like last call!).

Would love your input! Thanks!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Something shifted last night and I woke up feeling odd, feeling off in a way. Just not the same. I don't know if he's moved down a bit and that's all it is or what's going on, but I just felt off. I was very hot and a bit crampy and even a tad dizzy for a few minutes. And so heavy. I physically felt heavy. Heavy belly. And really, really tight belly.

Could be emotions, I mean it's been a busy and emotional couple of days, but it was just so odd to me.

A few things I've noticed over the past few days is that he's on my bladder ALOT! I'm using the washroom ALOT. Like, waking up in the middle of the night a few times. And that hasn't really happened yet. And he's getting even MORE active in there! I thought he's be totally quieted down by now, but boy he's active still! I love it, I love feeling him roll around, it just shocks me in a way that it's still going on! Mom says he'll probably quiet down as he gets closer to making his appearance - so that's something for me to watch for. It's getting to that point for me now... I'm paying attention to everything that's happening with my body for signs of "It's time".

I'm currently reading Hypnobirthing by Marie F. Mongan. And you know something? It's, to me, written in a threatening manner almost. As though doctors are "out to get you" and just want to intervene to get it over with so they can get out of there. I'm only on page 121, but that's how it's striking me right now. 1st edition was written in 1992, 3rd in 2005. She's obviously had bad experiences with hospitals. There's a checklist of questions to ask the hospital should you choose to give birth in a hospital, and it's almost like "I dare you to find a hospital that has any of these attributes".

But you know what?

BC Women's has all of them. I'm just so happy with my choice for a hospital birth, especially at a baby-friendly facility. And so incredibly happy with my OB. She's open to my questions and suggestions and, so far, the experience that I would like for me and my baby.

Now, what I am enjoying about the book is how she communicates the connection you have with your yet-to-be-born baby. The communication you already enjoy with your child. And the connection you can have with your baby through the whole birth experience. And of course I'm looking forward to learning more about the whole hypnobirthing technique(s).

All for now. Here's a 35-week belly shot.

Friday, December 26, 2008

When I was very young I experienced a major trauma. And again in my teenage years. And through it all, when you'd think that I'd have no trust left in male authority figures in my life, there was still one man whom I felt safe around besides my father.

Only one.

And he died yesterday.

And I don't quite know what to do with that.

He was invincible to me. He was kind and considerate and fun and SAFE. The only safe man in my young life. And so giving. And so loving and gentle. And he's gone. And I'm just heartbroken. And my little guy will never have the chance to meet him.

And it's interesting to me that I married a man that has a few of my father's attributes, but also - in looking at it now - many attributes of this man as well. He's patient. He's hilarious! He's gentle. He's loving. He's incredibly generous in spirit, time, space and never-ending love and support.

And he's safe.

And I'm so grateful that I've found someone like that for me. And that we're starting a family. I'm very, very grateful today, as I mourn the loss of a tremendous person. And I mourn for his family and what they're going through and how much I love them.

If you're called to, you can donate in memory of Glen Hansen at Craigs Cause.
(UPDATE: website is down - will be back up on Monday Dec 29.)


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

35 weeks along and what the heck is sticking out of my belly all the time?

I'm studying the picture above and trying to figure out if it's his butt that pops out above my belly button (bellybutton update: a full outie now) ,which I think it is because it's pretty big and pretty round. And when I say "big", I mean "almost the size of a tennis ball". Is that the size of a newborn bum? And then there's the mystery of smaller bits sticking out on either side of my belly button and even up under by my boobs/rib area. And sometimes little things sticking out all the way on my sides! Bizarre. He is still so active!

So there's alot going on as he's getting ready to make his public appearance!

He's around 5.25lbs and is about 18" from head to toe. Jesus, that's big. I'm still getting nervous and how much he's growing in there. His kidneys are fully developed and his liver can process some waste. My, how far he's come!

Freaky fact? My uterus has expanded to 1000 times it's original size.

I'm still only about 25 lbs heavier than usual. Didn't make it to the doctor appointment on Monday due to the snow, but weighed myself at home and still at 147. Which is HUGE for me, but all in the belly! Still pretty breathless - but I mean, my uterus is up under my ribs. Apparently when he drops, some of the breathlessness will ease up. Wish the heartburn would. I get it just from breathing for crying out loud. And I've been storm-stayed for three days and I only have 3 tums left and nothing is open tomorrow due to Christmas. Just delightful. I'll have to ease up on the turkey dinner (although mom already cooked it to get everything ready in advance, so really, our Christmas dinner is nothing more than leftovers.) (But leftovers ARE the best!)

And for mom?

I've got a few things left to do - forgot about his room for the past few weeks, so am packing away everything for him that is over the 3 month mark to make room in his dresser for all the newborn - 3 month clothing. We have SO much, it's insane. And I've only bought a handful of items. The rest were hand-me-downs and gifts. Just so much. It's great!

I have everything (almost) ready for the "hospital bag" so am packing that tonight. And will type up the birth plan and go over it with Donald. I just want to make sure we're on the same page - especially if anything happens to me and I am unable to communicate with the nurses or Donald. I've booked my hair appointment and massage and will book the pedi soon too. Then it's smooth sailing!

Just hope the rain comes soon to wash this snow away. Don't want to be 8 months pregnant and driving Vancouver streets with people that aren't used to the snow!

All for now.


Sunday, December 21, 2008

You know what I did today?


It was awesome!

Woke up at 7am and peeked outside to major snow on the ground. Woke up again at 9:30 to more coming down and even more on the ground. Got up, checked email. Had pancakes. And was exhausted! Crawled back in bed to read a bit and didn't get out until 5pm! Good times. Right now, Donald is shovelling the snow and I'm supposed to be doing the books. But here I am.

Had a dream last night that the baby came early... (how can babies be "early"??? They come when they come!). January 15 is the magical day. We'll see!

Have a doctor's appointment in the morning. Nervous about the roads as we're supposed to get another 10 cm tonight. May cancel and see if I can get squeezed in another day, or just stay put until my next appointment on Jan 3.

Ok, now I'm off to do the books.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

2008 Medical Weblog Awards - Pregnant Stephanie is nominated in the Best Patient's Blog category, alongside medical patients whom are in the throws of a disease or surgery. Or are recovering. Or are living with a debilitating condition.

I mean, me? Really?

I’m just a happy pregnant gal.


At this point in a pregnancy, 34 weeks, not much changes. From what I can tell and what I've read it's mostly just the baby's weight increasing (fat layers). Right now, at 34 weeks, I'm reading that he's probably around 4.7 lbs and 45 cm from head to toe.

That always freaks me out. That fits all in here? He's all squished up all happy in here?:

For mom? Got a great tip to wear satin pyjamas to bed as they are so slippery they'll help me roll over. The thing is... I haven't seen satin maternity jammies. And I only have a month to go until we're ready so it's hard to justify spending yet more money on maternity clothes. Although I AM buying a couple of layering shirts as the tops I have now are all riding up my stomach. And as cute as I think it might be in the privacy of my own home, it's not so nice, nor comfortable, when I realize after walking all through Ikea that my stomach has been hanging out the whole time.

I've got to buy a car seat. This is ridiculous. If they don't have it in stock it'll have to be ordered and it can take AGES apparently. So, Donald and I are heading out shopping tomorrow, we've GOT to buy one/order one. This is just silly.

I'm still totally into nesting and hanging out with Donald. Seriously, just me and him. Loving it. Loving the time together, even if it's just watching tv or me nagging him to put a dimmer switch in the nusery. We're having a great time together. For the first time in our 5 year history, we went Christmas shopping together. We NEVER do that. And we had a great time! Until I completely ran out of steam and had to sit down on a sweater display and eat a granola bar.

The little guy is totally moving around in there. It still freaks me out. He really doesn't have that much room, yet off he goes, motoring rolling around like it's nobody's business.

Looking forward to meeting him!

All for now. Have to decorate the tree.


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Week 34. Feeling great.

If it wasn't for the Hemorrhoids.

Yes, hemorrhoids. I knew I had it too easy with this pregnancy. I got away without nausea (for the most part), the constipation only lasted a little while until I discovered the miracle of prune juice and Lucerene yogurt, and not much else really (ok, so there is the heartburn - but nothing Tums can't solve, and the not sleeping - but I'm chalking it up to by body getting ready to be up all hours anyway!).

And so hemorrhoids. Woke up thismorning to bright red blood. Got a fright until I realized it was coming from the back door, and knew it had to be the dreaded 'roids that everyone tells me about. Called the BC Nurses Line just to be on the safe side. Their question: Are you sure it's not coming from your vagina? Yes, I'm sure. Then they had to go through a list of questions from their computer.. this next one totally freaked me out: "Is there a cord or a foot or anything sticking out of your vagina?"

WTF?! LOL! I looked at Donald and repeated the question to the nurse as I found it so bizarre. I mean, if there WAS a foot or cord coming out of my vagina, I think I'd be on my way to the loony bin hospital, and not chatting casually with her!

Anyway, she recommended I talk to my OB because I'm pregnant. (But hemorrhoids are part of pregnancy!). Anyway, she knows more than me in this department, after all, she is a nurse, so I hung up and called my OB. From there I got, "well, you're bleeding from your rectal area, not your vagina, so it's really something you should see your family doctor about, not us." And that made sense to me, so next call was to my GP. And they wanted to see me right away. So here we are, massive snow storm in Vancouver and we have to drive up hill to my GP.

And face the humiliation of an exam.

God. So humiliating. At least it only lasted 4 seconds.

And nothing to worry about - only a bout of 'roids.

So freakin' glamorous, this pregnancy has become.


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

This is exactly why I do not do outdoor sports in Vancouver.

That, and I'm 7.5 months pregnant and can hardly make it from one end of the mall to the other anymore.

But really, I thought being stuck on a ride at Disneyland during the earthquake was bad (think I was 12 weeks along at the time). But no, this takes the cake. Big fear realized. No gondolas for Stephi for the foreseeable future.

I'll still take the little guy to Whistler though. And I'm sure when he's old enough he'll be a fantastic apr├Ęs-skier (just like his mom)! Or there's always tobogganing down Whistler Creekside in the middle of the night!

Alot on the go lately - went to the Infant Care class on Sunday at BC Women's. Hilarious facilitator. RN in labour and delivery, and mother of six (triplets, twins and a single one!). I was waiting with baited breath to learn how to change a diaper (isn't that pathetic? 38 years old and had to take a class....) and I finally asked to be shown. Well, 1/2 the class came rushing over to watch, so I didn't feel as awkward anymore! 10:1 I'll still need youtube when I actually have to do it on my own. First time mom's - I'm sure I'm not the only one that's scared I'll do something wrong and tear off his belly button or something....

I'm sleeping now that my husband is in another room (still sad about that, but I've got to get sleep!), but I wake up at the sound of a pin dropping, so my sleep is interrupted. Like last night when I finally got to sleep around 12:30am, only to wake up at 3am to my neighbours FREAKING LOUD MUFFLER. Then was up until 7am. Argh. But hey, I'm sure there will be nights like that when the little guy comes, so there you go.

I'm having really sharp pains in my lower pelvic area every day. Only lasts for a few seconds and a span of about 5 minutes in total, but they do cause me to pause and take a breath. Asking my doctor on Monday what it may be. I thought Braxton Hicks were more "crampy" than sharp pains, but I'll find out next week.

Hospital bag almost ready to go. Just looking for a robe and slippers to wear over the hospital gown while I'm labouring. I want to look nice for myself and feel like a girl. Want something pretty for myself! But I can't find anything. All the robes are big and fleece or terry. Too big. I look like a house! I'll still look, might have to spend more money than I want, but it's my little treat for myself. IF, I can find something.

And I'm 34 weeks today! Must get the husband to take a pic tonight and I'll post along with the 34-week update AND along with the breaking news that I've been nominated for a 2008 Medical Weblog Award! More on that later tonight. For now, this pregnant chick has GOT to find something to eat!


Monday, December 15, 2008

Things are slowing down for me these days. Not only is my body (can't rush through the malls anymore!) slowing down with a serious waddle, but things around me are. I'm not into venturing out much. Not into running around town. Not really into seeing many people, even though I love them. It's not about them, it's about me.

I'm totally into nesting. Getting the nursery in order. Getting our affairs in order. Getting Christmas over with (truthfully - just not into it this year... much too busy with other things and much else on my mind!) and ringing in the new year. Getting details finalized. And resting!

Resting on the couch with a good book or movie. Cuddling up early in bed and reading with Donald or cuddling with the cats and doing some work on the laptop.

I'm just so not into leaving the house much. Plus, it's a whole adventure even trying to get out of the house to begin with! Let's just say I totally understand now why some pregnant women wear really ugly shoes. It's just so hard trying to tie up laces or fit your feet into your regular shoes! I can hardly lift my leg up to get my shoes on! I want a nice pair of slip ons, except it's December. And I can't find fashionable ones. And I'm so picky. Uggs would be fantastic, but they're 200.00. I don't think so. That's the price of a crib (almost).

I can't really get comfy anymore. Sitting up in bed hurts my lower back. Lying down is uncomfortable unless I'm sleeping. And hard to fall asleep when you're uncomfortable! Sitting on the couch isn't the greatest. Might bring out the glider to see if I'm comfy sitting in that.

So this was my first complaining post. Done.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

This... is keeping me up at night:

She's such a little brat! First it was my husband, now it's Chicken. Argh.

So last night I fell asleep around midnight and woke up at 2am (because of Chicken). Wide awake. So me and Donald watched last week's Grey's Anatomy and then I read for a while and watched Breakfast Television (still awake at 6am!) and fell asleep around 8am until phone rang at 9. Not a good sleep. But with Chicken, when I lock her out of the room, she makes more of a racket crying to get it!

So annoying.

But on the plus side, me and Don got to hang out together and cuddle and chat for a while.

During commercial breaks.


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

33 Weeks today!

Feeling good. Feeling great. Feeling a bit panicked - still so much to do. Simply have to get off our butts and do it. It's all becoming more real now, hence the panic. Dena, my best girlfriend, is currently in early labour. So that's driving it home that we're not close to ready! And a baby is going to come out in a few weeks! God, it's so real all of a sudden. I'd better get my butt in gear.

Something new at 33 weeks: I can no longer pee in a cup.

Well I can... but I can't see what I'm doing. My belly is in the way. It's hit or miss. I have to pee each time I see my doctor (5 more visits before baby!) and slide the cup through a window to the reception desk. Sliding the cup through the window is the easy part. It's actually getting my pee in the cup that's the hard part. I have to do it by ear now.

Peeing by ear. Hmmm.... there's got to be a joke in there somewhere.

To follow up on the last post.... I do not have a huge-ass monster baby in my womb. The doctor says he's average size, and my size is right on track.

What's average size, I asked?
Oh, I usually say a 7.5 lb baby is average.

That's HUGE! When I was born, we were all 5.5 lbs, 6 lbs, that sort of thing. 7.5 is HUGE! MASSIVE. UGH.

Jesus. 7.5 lbs. That, to me, is really big. I'm going to concentrate on the fact that chinese babies are smaller. Yeah, Yeah, I'll just lie to myself.

He's still head down and will probably remain that way as there's just not that much room for him to turn back up. Which is awesome! No worries about breech. He still moves around alot in there and I'm feeling the actual size of him increase. It's wild. He's taking up more space. He's growing so much. I can tell knees/elbows now (ok, so they might be feet/hands), but still can't get butt/head clear. Yes, you'd think head would be down and butt would be up, but what about when it's kinda side-to-side? I'm pretty sure his whole leg was sticking out of my belly last night. I felt it and moved my hand right up it as it moved. It was like a fat little sausage. My little guy. Sigh.

I'm up to 147 lbs right now, which isn't too bad seeing as I started at 123 or something. No swelling really. Just a bit heavier and awkward at times (like in yoga class - freakin' hilarious, the things I just can't do anymore).

A box from Babies R Us showed up today... must go open it!

Belly shot tomorrow.

All for now,

Monday, December 8, 2008

Went to "Prenatal in a Day" at BC Women's yesterday.

It was fantastic! I was very impressed with how they are everything I thought they wouldn't be. They are so for the mom and baby. My fears were put aside. Fears of the "coldness" of it all. Fears they would treat the birth of my little guy more as a procedure and not a, well, a birth experience. The experience that it is. The experience of joining the world. The experience of me bringing a being into this world. They are so focused on making sure you have the experience you desire. Make no mistake, the health of the baby is first and foremost. Yet they are there for you too.

Me and him are delivering and doing all the work. They're in the room to make sure it happens without incident. And to catch him when he comes out.

I was really happy to hear their philosophy.

I was also really happy to have the husbands and support persons included in the session. Not just that they were there, but they were part of the "curriculum" and there was alot of how important they are to the birth and the labouring (don't like that they call it labour "pains" because that word brings up such fear so Donald and I are going to make up our own word. Read somewhere about using the word "surge" instead, so might go that route.). I think it really opened Donald's eyes that he's actually part of this, not just there because I want him to be or because I need him to be. I want him to have the experience he wants as well. That probably won't be venturing too far below the waist. Nor cutting the cord. It will be as it will be for him, but trust me...he's not waiting out in the hallway until it's over! There's more discussion due on this one. I think it opened his eyes a bit as to just how important he is to it all. We'll see.

The other gals that were there and due around my time were much smaller. So now I'm freaked out, thinking I have a huge baby growing inside me. Going to ask my doctor tomorrow at the check up about this.

(Anyone know if you can tell how big a baby is before he's born? Need another ultrasound I suppose?)

Next week is Infant Care Class. This will get into the nitty gritty of the care after delivery (just a small example is how to change a diaper... thank god!) and apparently lots of talk on vaccines. Don't know what else, will find out on Sunday!

All for now. Me and my big-ass baby have actual work to do....

Bought these products at Superstore. No parabens. No phthalates. No harmful stuff for baby. And only 3.99 each. Good times.

Just trying to be a conscious parent.


Friday, December 5, 2008

I don't know what's sadder. The fact that my husband and I can no longer share a bed, or the fact that this is where he's sleeping:

This simply won't do. We'll have to buy him a "real" blow up bed, one that is off the floor. And bigger. This is awful. Funny, but awful! On the other hand, I slept like a BABY again last night!


Thursday, December 4, 2008

Kinda sad, Kinda happy.

My husband isn't sleeping with me anymore.

Last night was night #1 of him sleeping on the couch. Poor sod. But I slept like a BABY. I woke up feeling great. Was all good until about 1pm when I needed a nap, and now I have energy and am actually cooking dinner! What a difference a full night sleep can make!

We're off to see Great Big Sea tonight and then stopping by his sister's place to get her blow up bed and he's going to be sleeping in the nursery until the baby is born. I can't believe it's come to this, but it's the only way I can get sleep. If he would only come to bed at the same time as me, I'd be fine.... but he comes to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning and I'm a light sleeper so of course I wake up and then can't get back to sleep. But also, I can't really get comfortable. So I kinda sleep all over the bed with various pillows and wedges to prop me up. And so he doesn't really get a good night's sleep either, on his little slither of matress.

We started to chat about it the other night and he said that alot of the people at his work were telling him to sleep in another room (from their experience while their wives were pregnant!) to help the wifey. I'm glad he told me that. I don't feel as bad now, pretty much kicking him out of the bedroom.

I can't believe I just said, "wifey".

All for now.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Got it! Just need the car seat now and that's out of the way. Another thing off the list. Feels good. Up next, rug for nursery. Ikea is having their winter sale starting Friday so I'm going to pop in and see if I can find something.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

32 weeks!

Here we are at 32 weeks. And this is what a baby looks like in utero at 32 weeks.

My God, where does the time go? Just yesterday I was staring at a stick with two pink stripes, and today I'm preparing my hospital bag!

Right now I'm reading, "Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful". Some of it is informative, some of it just reiterates my thoughts that, really, it simply is what it is. But the best thing I got out of it is this quote: "Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans."

Very funny.

It did bring up a couple of things that I will chat with my OB about next visit. Will BC Women's support me if I'm feeling the need to deliver from a squatting position, or bent over, or standing, or any position but on my back? What if I'm called to walk and walk and walk through my labour? What if I would like the lights turned down a bit, especially during labour? It's about me and the baby and the healthiest birth possible so I just want to make sure our needs are being met in the safest way possible - and I don't want to feel afraid or uncomfortable in voicing my concerns, needs, wishes, etc.

So that's where I am now.

That, and sitting here blogging at 4:24am because I've been awake since my husband came to bed at 2am. ARGH. And I have such a busy day ahead! I'm writing a series on Pitching for my business, have a coffee meeting at 11:00, a massage (finally!) at 12:30, and a pedicure at 2:00 (seeing as I can hardly manage to cut my own nails at this point, let alone massage and paint them!) Then it's a few more hours of trying to drum up some more business and hopefully checking out a stroller in the early evening.

Baby: He's 17" from head to toe, and weighs about 3.75 lbs. The body is so amazing... how he fits in there! I wonder if the cirque folks have pre-birth memories and that's how they can fit into their crazy contortions.

Or they're boneless.

He's supposed to gain a third to a half of his birthweight in the next 8 weeks so I'm supposed to be eating well. The thing is, I don't have much of an appetite. Nothing is appealing to me. At all. It's like the first trimester again. Can only eat 1/2 of anything in front of me before I'm full or feel a bit ill. I'll just munch through the day I suppose and see how that does me. Lots of fruit and I guess I'll buy stuff that's ready to eat RIGHT NOW instead of having to prepare something (ie: safe meats for a quick sandwich instead of having to boil eggs or mix tuna, etc, because by the time that's done I've lost my appetite again. Frustrating. Very frustrating. It's times like these that I wish we could afford a food delivery service!)

It's now 4:51am and I've just yawned. Perhaps I'll manage to fall asleep in the next few minutes. One can always hope!

All for now.

Monday, December 1, 2008

I've been having the weirdest dreams.

When I manage to sleep, that is.

They're like the first trimester dreams, only more about me and my personal safety. They're horrible. I know they are showing me my anxiety about labour and delivery, and I'm not taking them literally, but my God they're horrendous.

Dreaming of relatives dying (that are pregnant), dreaming of people trying to kill me, dreaming of people succeeding in killing me... which I've dreamt my whole life. Weird hey? I've seen myself die in my dreams numerous times and in numerous ways. Stabbings, suffocating, drowning (which seemed the most peaceful) and shot to death. But here I am, still kickin'!

And here I am at almost 32 weeks:

(and that's my darling Ling Ling strolling by).

All for now.


Friday, November 28, 2008

That is how I feel these days. Big and clunky.

He's growing in there. He's getting really really big. It's weird, how's he's all stretched out yet totally cramped up and squished into this little place that is my uterus. I said to the D-Man, maybe he's like a mime trying to get out of a box. That's how it feels. Always knocking around in there.

I'm not able to sleep with Donald in the bed. How to I break it to him that I want him to sleep in the babies room or on the couch until the birth? There's simply not enough room in our bed for both of us! I'm only comfortable when I'm completely stretched out!

I'm getting pains in weird places. Pretty constant pressure on my pelvic area. Boobs are getting more veins. Belly too. Having back pain when I sit a certain way or stand for too long. Leg pain too. I want a leg massage every day! Last night at 2:30am while I was up wandering around, I asked Donald to give me a leg massage, "Just gently, like the cats are walking on me" (because that feels SO good but they only do it to get to where they're going...). Well, he did it a bit too roughly at first, and then nice and gently but it started to tickle. So much for that. Back to paying $85.00 for a massage (of which $80.00 is covered thank goodness).

When I'm laying down I feel like an 11 year-old girl who's going through a growth spurt. It's like I have growing pains! I just want to stretch out and stretch and stretch. And even when I do, it's not enough. That's a big part of why I can't sleep. That and the little guy is really active.

I really hope I never turn into one of those people who can't wait to "get this kid out of me". I love being pregnant. I love feeling him inside me. It's just the trying to sleep that's annoying. I'm going to miss my pregnant body after he's out! And I have a feeling sleep isn't going to get any better!

That's my rant for today.

All for now.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Anyone have any insight on cord blood banking? We'd like to hear from parents who decided to and why, and those who decided NOT to and why.

Also, to all the medical professionals... is there any evidence that you know of where 1/2 Caucasian, 1/2 Asian children are prone to any sort of disease that may require cord blood? I have no idea about this, nor any idea where to start researching. Might as well start here!

Feel free to leave a comment.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

31 weeks today!

This is what a 31 week baby looks like in utero. How cool is that, that today you can actually see what they look like. As much as I love the nature of things (and this nature of things...shout out to The Suze) and how nature has intent and, as I always say, the "wisdom of the body", I sure do love advances in science and in medicine. Fascinating stuff. Now, if there was a science to softening stool and getting a good nights' sleep....

So here we are. They say that he should slow down on his movements now that his real estate is shrinking, but my guy is getting MORE active. It's insane. He is just so active. And I have an anterior placenta for crying out loud, so imagine the impact if it wasn't in the way!

His body is continuing to fill out and his body, legs and arms are now proportional to his head. He weighs about 3.3 lbs and is 41 cm from head to toe.

My God.

I have a little person inside of me.

No bloody wonder I can't sleep.

Now that I've received all the gifts I'm going to receive (baby shower pics coming soon!), I'm going through everything for the final count of what I'm missing. For example, I totally forgot pants. If it was summertime it wouldn't be a big deal as he could relax in diapers and a diaper tee (have tonnes), but it's winter so he needs to be warm when he's hanging out with his mum! Counting the receiving blankets, sleepers, etc etc to make sure I'm on top of things. I could zip out and grab stuff (Zellers is close by!), but we're not taking him out of the house for a month, so I want to make sure I have everything (we're not doing all the stuff noted in that link, just not taking him out for a month and throwing the traditional party on the 30th day.) And it's helps me to feel more in control. So that's what the next week or so is about. Then it's hospital bag packing, again, to be prepared (and also to feel more in control!).

I'm getting nervous about the big day. Not the labour and delivery so much, just about the small details. What if I forget a little hat for him to come home in? What if Vancouver all of a sudden has a major snowstorm when I'm on my way to the hospital? What if I get stuck in rush hour (my biggest fear) traffic? The hospital is quite a drive without traffic for crying out loud! What if I'm not as strong as I think I am and need help with the delivery? We have all our prenatal and childcare classes coming up in a few weeks, so I'm sure some of my fears will be laid to rest afterwards, but I'm nervous about it all right now.

Here's the picture I'm bringing with me to the hospital to focus on, and, well, just to have her near. She was always the only one who could calm me down. Usually by showing me that the best thing to wash your worries away was a good roll in the grass.

All for now!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Can't believe it's been almost a week since I've blogged. I'm up all night for crying out loud, I could simply pick up my laptop and type away... but Leno gets the best of me.

Speaking of being up all night:

3rd trimester is somewhat like 1st trimester. I'm not sleeping well. I can't really get comfortable. And constipation is back (kind of). I'm really really picky with food. I don't have much of an appetite. I'm hungry, I just don't want to eat anything. Nothing is appetizing to me, is what I'm trying to say. Thank God there's leftover potato salad from my AWESOME baby shower... that's gotten me through yesterday and today. Oh, and crazy, vivid, lucid dreams are back. YAY! I love my dreams.

Had my monthly check up today. Monthly's are no more... for December it's every two weeks, then in January it's every week until due date. I've booked one for after as well, just in case I'm overdue. I don't think I will be, but we'll see.

Care to make it interesting? ;)

My regular doctor is on vacay so I had a sub. She was lovely, very animated. Didn't bother asking my pile of questions, will wait for my doc to be back. It's only another two weeks. I can wait that long to get the low-down on birthing pool (just asking...not sure yet...) vs. regular and epidural risks and all the other questions I have written down.

The little guy is head-down to my right, bum to the left of my bellybutton (which is ALMOST fully an outie now!) and his legs up by my right ribs somewhere.

Makes him seem bigger than what the Internet tells you. Which I'll find out tomorrow as I'll hit the 31 week mark!

All for now. Baby shower pics coming soon. And maybe belly shots, just have to remember to take one!


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I find this a bit condescending.

It could have been funny, but it's just all wrong.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

So here's a glimpse of what thirty weeks looks like.

Out of bed around 8am. IF I slept the night before.

Wanting to nap again at, oh, I don't know, 10:30 or so. But plugging along at least until 2 or 3pm. THEN, letting myself have a 20 minute snooze.

Working a bit more, preparing supper or waiting for my husband to get home to prepare supper.

Tired, EXHAUSTED, again around 8pm. Wash up for bed around 10:30pm. WIDE AWAKE UNTIL 1AM. Then awake again around 4 or 5am. Fall back to sleep between 6 and 7am, then the day starts over.

Mixed in among this is pure joy. Feeling him becoming even more active even though he's losing major real estate. Getting overjoyed and overcome with emotion - knowing that he's going to be here soon. (The panic of that as well.) Projecting my nervousness onto objects (ie: stroller search), unconsciously taking my mind away from the fact that my life is about to change in such a huge way that I have ZERO control over.

And loving that more than fearing that.

So, that's where I'm at, at 30 weeks. And here's where I'm supposed to be physically:

Apparently I should have gained about 3-4 lbs. Not sure, my appointment is next week, but I've definitely gained a bit. Feels good. Feels healthy.

Haven't felt the Braxton Hicks. I don't think. Well, there was that one day where I felt kind of seized up for a bit so that may have been it. But hasn't happened since, so who's to say?

And here's what's happening with baby:

He's gaining weight fast now (and yet I'm the one getting the fat ass). His lungs and digestive tract are pretty much fully developed. He's been opening and closing his eyes for a while now (I wonder what my insides look like?).

And here's what a baby looks like at 30 weeks: (umbilical cord wrapped around his ankle):

All for now.


I only have 10 weeks to go.


So much to do. The panic has just set it. It's 11:45pm and I've just asked my husband to dismantle the blinds in the baby's room and steam clean the glider.


And so he is! While I lay in bed relaxing and eating bon bons blogging and watching Letterman and feeling the little monkey motor around in there (and wishing I could sleep).

Thirty weeks today.

Ten more to go.



Saturday, November 15, 2008

Do you know how hard it is to design a nursery?

Harder than picking out a stroller.

And I bet harder than labour and delivery.

(Ok, that might be stretching it... I'll let you know at the end of January!)

If I had of just stuck to my original plan of green & brown, it would be done by now. But no, we had to go and change our mind on the furniture. Ok, the price changed our minds more than we did... but still... we're going with a completely new crib and dresser. Lighter in colour now than the last so that completely changes the colour palette. Completely. The greens and browns will no longer work. We're keeping the trim white. And might be keeping the original wall colour (called Candlewax. It's pretty much a light yellow). Our hardwood floor is a lighter wood too, not a dark one, so that affects it as well. Basically, I can't find anything to go with it. I don't want light blues and light greens. I don't want boring. I want something with a bit of kick to it. Some bright accents at least. AND NO MURALS OR DECALS OR BORDERS.

Mom says the baby won't care what the colours are, but that doesn't matter to me. It's our first and we are having fun with it. So let us fret about the nursery colours and design. It's the annoying fun part.

I think I'll go back through the pictures I saved last night when I was up until 1:00AM GOOGLING NURSERY PICTURES to get an idea of what I like, then hit Ikea for fun fabric ideas and take it from there. I know it'll be right in front of me one day soon, and I'll magically see all the colours I like thrown together beatuifully, but I want it to happen today.

Is that asking too much? Really?

Do you think a splash of navy blue is too old for a newborn? I need a grounding colour, a darker colour.

That goes with yellow.


Friday, November 14, 2008

So, yesterday's brief post about ballet got me thinking about something.

I'm not afraid of childbirth. Nor labour.

And I can't believe that.

I hate pain. I'm terrified when I think things are going to hurt. And from what I understand, childbirth HURTS!

So why am I not afraid? I don't get it. Am I out of my body? Am I not feeling?


It simply will be what it will be. It is what it is.

I'm a woman. My body was made for this. There's wisdom in the body that far outweighs the wisdom of thinking. And I trust my body.

And I trust the baby. They know what to do. They know how to get out. And if they're stuck, that's where the doctor's come in. And they know what they're doing. They know how to help mom and baby. (My birth plan starts with, SAFETY FIRST.)

And I trust nature. It knows what it's doing. Nature is nature.

It is what it is.

Simple as that.


Thursday, November 13, 2008

You know what?

He might be a dancer afterall! In fact, all babies have the potential to be dancers.

I'm currently reading, well, five different books, but the one that gets most of my attention is "The Mind of your Newborn Baby". It was talking about how at around six months in utero the baby starts to do a certain sort of ballet in there. He changes position in such a way that gets him ready for birth. It's a mirror of how babies are actually born. How they actually come down the birth canal.

How cool is that?

They know what to do.

Thank god.

'Cause I have NO idea!



Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Saw @haribhajan post a link about letting go of the past on Twitter yesterday and it got me thinking. Really, really thinking.

I threw out all my stuffed animals from when I was little.

Not too long ago either.

I've recently searched high and low throughout my house for that magical box of childhood friends. But it's gone.

Did I really donate them? Did I really bundle up the box and drive them out of my life? Didn't I even save ONE? The little mouse that my grandmother gave me? The little yellow dog that my mother's friend gave me? The monkey with the button eyes?

I was so upset to realize that I had gotten rid of them. Only to remember why, just thismorning.

I wanted to create my own traditions. My own history. Starting now. Starting right now, with this little guy growing inside me. I want him to have his own memories. His own toys. His own little stuffed friends. His own gift from his own grandmother.

Not mine.

Those were my friends when I was little. They were my only company somedays, and my only friends most days. They served me well 30 years ago when I needed them. They don't serve me anymore. Perhaps they'll be a great friend to a young person somewhere else now. And that gives me comfort.

I've wanted to have a clean slate for a long long time. Moving 4000 miles away from my hometown started that process. Letting go of friendships that didn't serve me anymore - whether flesh & blood, or stuffed with foam - took me a long way towards that goal. Getting married and buying a house helped it along tenfold.

And this pregnancy is a magical piece of it.

I get to meet this little guy who doesn't know my history. Who has no judgement. Who loves me just for being me. For being his mom.

Now that's a clean slate. That's letting go of the past.

That's an opportunity that will never come along again.


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

So this is the stroller we've registered for:

And this is the one I'm looking at instead:

Specific questions I'd love it if any of you could answer for me in the comments:

  • is the Mosaic (2nd one) easy to fit into trunk/compact/light in weight?
  • any of you wish you had of had a food tray on your stroller instead of just an arm bar?


Week 29!

Just got my email update from Pregnancy Weekly.

The first sentence?

"This is a good time to learn how to power nap during the day."


Trust me, if there's one thing I definitely got right with this pregnancy, it's power napping. 15-20 minutes and I'm all good.

So where are we at week 29? He's about 2.5 lbs and 15.5" from head to toe. That's the same as last week. I thought this was a massive weight-gain and growth period? I guess I should only take my information from one source to keep it consistent...

He's really active. Kicks up a storm. Just lovin' it. Paul, over at Running a Hospital, left a comment yesterday wondering if I've tried playing different types of music for him to see how he reacts. I hadn't, but started to thismorning. Right now we're listening to a cd called "Lullababy". He's not kicking as much as when I play Chopin, but we'll see. I'll try different kinds and see what he likes when he's here with us, on the outside. I won't play any heavy rock or metal though... no offense to folks who dig that, but to me it's painful to listen to, so why would I subject my son to it? If he likes it when he's older, good enough, but until then? No go.

For right now, we're adding to the registry, building the hospital bag and birth plan lists, getting the nursery ready, contacting the cord blood people and cloth diaper services for more information... the list goes on. It's all coming together. I just have to make sure I schedule enough time in my day to really focus on what needs to be done and get my act together!

Stood up to get a cup of tea thismorning and had some serious stomach pains. Don't know what it was, but it passed in a matter of minutes (with me walking around my house rubbing my belly and really nervous), and he's kicking again now, so all must be well.

He requires more nutrition than ever from now on, so I've got to make sure I eat and eat well. I have been more hungry, and more often lately, so I'll pay attention to that but make sure I grab a healthy snack instead of a snack that just happens to be close. The halloween treats are all gone now, so no more Kit Kats for Stephi!

All for now. Might be time for one of those power naps! Yawn....

Monday, November 10, 2008

Woke up this morning feeling incredibly creative. I think it's because of my wonky dreams. (Or it's because I'm creating something incredible in my belly...)

But seriously. The dreams? NUTS. 3rd trimester dreams are as crazy and vivid, and sometimes as terrifying, as 1st trimester dreams. INSANE.
And Donald is going through it too.

A few nights ago I was dreaming that a ghost was talking to me. It was whispering in my ear (didn't say anything very exciting. Just, "Boo".) Anyway, as this ghost was whispering I started to shoo it away by punching it in the face.

Well guess what? I was actually punching my husband in the face! I woke up by feeling my hand punching him in the cheek and jaw. And he woke up wondering why the hell his wife was beating him up in his sleep!

BUT, he was really glad I was hitting him because it got him out of a dream where we were driving down a road, him in the driver's seat, me in the passenger seat, and two men on the side of the road starting shooting at me.

Turns out, his face was by my ear and his breathing changed so drastically when someone was shooting at me that it manifested in my dream, at that very moment, as a ghost whispering in my ear.


Sympathetic husband syndrome? Or serious dream connection. Either way, this is exactly the kind of thing that's happening in the 3rd trimester.

Wonky as hell, but fantastic. I love this stuff, I love how the body works, how nature works. How things happen just as intended. How the body is a map. How it just knows what to do.

How when my unborn child is kicking and poking inside me and I calmly say his name and that I love him and put my hand over the place he's kicking, he automatically calms down.

In utero.

He's learning about his mom. In utero. So imagine what he's learning when my heart rate increases or my blood pressure rises when I'm (unnecessarily) angry (or stressed or afraid).

I love the mystery of it all. And I'm glad it's a mystery and I hope some things in life always remain a mystery. It's beautiful.

Friday, November 7, 2008

I'm a dork.

You know that line on the belly that alot of pregnant women get? Yeah, that one? Well, I didn't get it. Nope, I don't have it. Didn't show up on me.

Only it did. I do have it. It's right there, above and below my belly button (which is still 3/4 an outie), right where it's supposed to be. Only for the past 2-3 months, I thought it was a seam mark. A seam from my underwear or pants. A seam from my shirt.

Only my underwear and pants CAN'T REACH MY BELLY BUTTON. My belly is too big now for anything to wrap around it. Nothing, no sort of clothes, can make it that far up my belly. So why the hell I didn't realize this earlier is beyond me. I'm such a spaz. So there you have it. Or there I have it. The linea negra. Only a bit lighter in colour that most.

So here I am in my 3rd trimester. First trimester I was craving fruit and McDonald's. Second trimester I was craving fruit and Starbucks. And in the third trimester? Not much so far. Solid, deep sleep would be nice. Being able to put my own socks on would be nice. Towel drying my hair without almost falling over would be nice. As would brushing my teeth without losing balance (I never was one of those people who can brush their teeth standing up straight. All that toothpaste runs out of your mouth and down your arm. And when I say "your", I mean "my".).

And when is Flipping Out coming back on (in Canada)? I need my dose.

All for now. Gotta go make my list of things to go in the hospital bag and also fret over the stroller decision I made.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

BC Women's Hospital is officially "baby-friendly"!

Here's a brief synapsis of the World Health Organization's initiative for Baby Friendly designation.

I'm thrilled!

I had relaxed a bit after the last doctor's appointment and chatting with my OB about what I want and don't want for my baby at birth/following birth. She was right there with me. She didn't fight me on anything I wanted. It was a non-issue. She was supportive. And here I was panicking for months because other women had told me that hospitals are difficult to deal with and they/the nurses/the doctors might fight me when it comes to ie: eye ointment, breastfeeding, etc etc, but not at all! And now, knowing that BC Women's is officially designated as Baby-Friendly, I can completely relax in knowing I'll be supported in breastfeeding (among other things) during my stay at the hospital.


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I am in LOVE with this concept! The perfect way to get over writer's block. The perfect way to just start writing!

The One Minute Writer

All for now.

28 weeks today!

I thought I was already in the 3rd trimester, but apparently I'm just sliding into it now. Whatever. What's a number, really? I'll go by belly size. And since Ling Ling has just now taken a shining to sitting on it and resting her head between my boobs, I'll take it as a sign that the belly is now big enough to be granted "Third Trimester" status.

I'm tired. I'm really really tired. It hits me out of the blue and I have to nap RIGHT THEN. I really noticed it after Donald's b-day party Saturday night. Like I said, I could hardly move off the couch the next day until 7:30pm. It was awesome to let myself rest, but boring as hell. So I grabbed the laptop and started to create the baby registry. A bit of a small wish list, pretty straight forward (thermometers, nursing pads, Bumbo, yada yada) (Anyone have thoughts on the Bumbo? Is it worth it do ya think?) Researching monitors to add to it later today. Donald laughs and says that shopping is my form of nesting. Lord knows cleaning the house isn’t!
The little guy has been kicking like mad since Friday night. And moving around so much. His little butt sticks out beside my belly button and my stomach rolls like a beluga. It’s hilarous! When it gets more pronounced, I’m going to video it. Stay tuned for that one!

28 weeks. Here’s what’s up with him:

He’s 15.75 inches and over 2.5 lbs! That’s HUGE. No friggin’ wonder I can feel him down by my pelvis and then over to my side. Crazy. He’s growing eyelashes and if he has hair, it’s growing longer right now.

And the mom?

She’s shopping! I have an ongoing list of things to buy, and am set to do it over the Christmas holidays. I want to have everything ready (or as ready as I can be) by early January so I can just relax and enjoy the remaining weeks of having my little guy safely inside of me. As my friend Nicola told me after Ruby was born (it actually quite terrified me!)... to paraphrase: “To think you’re so worried for the 9 months of carrying your baby and want to keep her safe and do everything right.... and then you have her and she’s OUT and it’s total panic time.“


I’ve got my list going of Things for Mom and Things for Baby. For mom it’s stuff like Lasinoh (by week 32!) and ingredients to make my own baby wipes (a January purchase), bath supplies for the little guy like gentle shampoos and wash (looking into natural stuff...), receiving blankies, face cloths, a couple of towels with cute hoods, socks for him, I have tonnes of clothes for him, but have to go through again to make sure I have enough of each, order the cloth diaper service, prepare my hospital bag... all that stuff. What fun! Nicola is a great source of reference for those things not to forget, and so is my friend Lexie. She’s fired off a list of things to me. Anyone want a copy, just email or leave a comment with your email address.

That’s about it for today... must get back to work. A couple of housekeeping items:

1. Great to see a bunch of you on Twitter now! It’s a fantastic way to briefly keep in touch and network with people world wide. I’ve gotten some great advice from people via their tweets and conversations, and I even landed a client on Twitter. It’s a fantastic social media tool.

2. I’ve changed the chat option from Gmail to Skype. Skype is by far superior. For all my friends and relatives at home in the Maritimes, I highly suggest you download it (it’s a free service) and we can keep in touch after the baby comes - by video call even! Or you can simply chat with me if it shows that I’m currently online. My skype name is Scratchpad1.

I’ll leave you with a picture of the birthday party on Saturday night. This is all the grandchildren with us, except for a few. Be warned, I take up half of the frame with my ever-widening belly....

Sunday, November 2, 2008

I am exhausted.

Too exhausted to type almost!

Had a birthday party for my husband last night and today I am pooped. So I'm going to let myself be pooped and enjoy the couch for a few more hours. After all... I won't be doing any of that in about 3 months time.

Pictures of the party tomorrow.


Thursday, October 30, 2008

Tonight at yoga not only did I feel like a walrus, but I discovered my balance has gone to hell. I had to lean against a wall just to bend my friggin' knee.

The sad thing is I don't think it had anything at all to do with being pregnant.

Update on the bellybutton: it is now almost 3/4 of the way to being a full outie. So cute!


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

  • Weight gain: so far only 17 lbs in total. Not bad.

  • Blood pressure: 100/60.

  • Fundal height is 27 or 28, so right on track.

  • Baby's heartbeat was 150. Which reminds me... since we have the doppler, I'm going to record his heartbeat and put it on here. Must get on that! Must get on alot of things.

  • Blood work: aok. No diabetes. BUT, GP called thismorning wanting to see me to discuss blood results (why? She hasn't called me in 6 months and I've had loads of bloodwork with this pregnancy) So I go in and they tell me I'm anemic. But my OB said all was good. So I'm a bit confused. Left a message with my OB earlier, I'll take her word for it, whatever that may be when I hear back.

  • Speaking of GP... I'm looking for a new one. Anyone who may be reading this from Greater Vancouver recommend one in Burnaby or East Van? I don't want to drive too far for a doctor's appointment for my child. Me? I usually go 30 minutes away to appointments because I don't mind, but not if I'm panicking when my baby's umbilical cord is falling off and I want to get to a doctor YESTERDAY out of sheer panic. ;-) Ya know? Let alone if he gets really sick...

  • Vaccines. Brought up the fact (with my GP thismorning) that we are starting discussions on whether or not we are going to vaccinate and everything to do with that. Well, the response I got was pretty rude to say the least. And after I told her that I didn't want to know her thoughts, just her facts, I also asked for the list of vaccinations and vaccination schedule for babies. So now we have that information to go forward with our research. Yikes.

Anyone care to weigh in on why you DIDN'T or why you DID decide to vaccinate? Facts and sources would be fantastic too please so me and the D-Man can follow up on this end.

27 weeks along!

A bit about mom:
I'm tired. So very very tired. Not just sleepy, but tired. Need a nap in the afternoon (need more than want), then I'm up until after midnight (which is great actually, I get to spend time with my husband. He's a night owl.). I wake up again around 4 or 5am for a bit, then back to sleep until about 8. It's odd. I'm finding that I tire easily, just walking even. Going into Costco yesterday (you know, they have NO baby stuff at all. Except diapers.), I had to keep yelling out to Donald to wait up. I was trailing behind at a snails pace. This totally crept up on me over the past week or so. I need to take my time.

And I'm surprisingly ok with that.

I've popped again over the past 4 days or so. All of a sudden, the belly is much bigger.

Lovin' it. Will have to get some more pics up soon. Wait... maybe I'll set up the camera now....

Decided my coat-sweater thing isn't going to cut it, and am going to spend the money on a maternity winter coat/jacket. It's just getting too cold, and Donald and I love to grab a coffee and stroll Robson later in the evenings, so I don't want to give that up. Even though it may take me an hour to get from one block to the next!

My feet are doing weird things. I'm not really gaining that much weight, and am only swollen once in a while, but my shoes don't really fit. I've heard that the bones in your feet kind of spread out or something to help distribute weight (does this happen when people just gain alot of weight too, not necessarily just pregnant women?). Anyhoo, I am now shopping for the winter coat AND comfy shoes to wear with jeans. I won't be dressing up for any cocktail parties (sigh, I SO miss heels) this Christmas, so casual shoes it is.

And the baby?

He's rockin' and rollin' in there. I had a doctor appointment yesterday so asked her exactly how he was laid out in there, because there's something sticking out by my belly button (WHAT BELLY BUTTON?) in the morning when he (and me) is waking up and I don't know if it's his head, his bum, or a REALLY REALLY big foot.

Turns out it's his bum. His little bum! He's head down, diagonal right now.

He weighs about 2 lbs and is 15 inches long from head to toe. That's friggin' big. I know I always sound so amazed... it's because I AM. Wild times for the Lee family these days.

Apparently this week, or next, is the actual week his little eyes will start to open and close. And he'll start to dream too! Must tell him great stories before bedtime. No ghost stories this halloween!
Best news I've received this week?

I can eat sushi while breastfeeding!

SUSHI! That totally made my day! Tojo's here I come. That's going to be my first meal. I'm so happy I can eat sushi while breastfeeding. So, so happy.

Here's the 27 week belly shot (I've got to learn how to use my camera so i don't have 7 chins each time I snap!)


Monday, October 27, 2008

Oh God.

This was the first yoga class where I felt like a walrus.

Not a beached whale... A friggin' walrus. I felt heavy and uncoordinated and stiff.

It was glorious!

I'm hitting that stage. That stage where, even though I'm not gaining much weight, I'm getting heavier. Or I'm feeling heavier anyway.

I've popped again as well. As my brother-in-law said last night (a few of us went on The Haunted Vancouver Trolley tour), "your air bag has deployed". Nice one. But so true!

I was laying there on the mat and realized I just couldn't put my foot up by my hand anymore. And when I bent over to do some stretchy thing sitting in cross-legged, my belly hit my ankle and just kind of plopped there. There's a girl in the class (also a Stephanie, whom I quite like.), and I looked over at her at one point and she's flailing about as well. We all were. It was friggin' hilarious.

Our instructor, Brenna (a gem), is this gorgeous thin flexible creature WHOM I USED TO BE! I used to be in modelling. I used to be in figure skating, in majorettes, in syncronized swimming. I went to circus school. I used to be graceful and flexible and nimble.

And there I was, flailing about on the floor like a fish washed up on the shore.

A very very heavy fish.

It was a fun night at yoga.

Tomorrow, I'm 27 weeks along. Shall report back!


Sunday, October 26, 2008

Had a very very busy day yesterday, trapsing all over town, but it was so great. Me and mom hung out. Hit the "Vancouver's Largest Baby Shower" at Heritage Hall on Main.

It sucked.

The best part was standing in line and laughing with mom. Even though we STOOD IN LINE FOR 1.5 HOURS! Not well organized by any means. And by the time we got in, they were out of gift bags. I am consoling myself by believing the contents were probably only collateral of sponsors, partners, etc.

Mom enjoyed the baby sign language seminar and I enjoyed chatting with the cloth diaper folks. Actually got to see and feel so I know more of what I'm getting myself into! Other than that, I didn't really see anything (AT ALL) of interest. And I was nearly decapitated by a very excited pregnant woman who turned quickly to point to someone on the other side of the room.

1.5 hours in line. 20 minutes in show.

Next stop was Chapters and lunch.

I'm disappointed in Chapters. Every time I go in to buy something in particular, they don't have it. BUT, it's cheaper online anyway, so that's the silver lining. This is the 2nd time I was in looking for 5 books and I ended up leaving and ordering last night from the comfort of my bed.

On it's way?

  • The Girlfriend's Guide to Baby Gear. Was loaned this one, but I'm a highlighter and page marker so want to get my own copy. Lots of fantastic tips on what to buy, how much to buy, where to buy, etc.
  • The Mind of your Newborn Baby. Was recommended by my girlfriend Dena and I totally trust her ideas so I bought it without a second thought.
  • Dr. Robert Sears', The Vaccine Book. Apparently this is the best to get both sides of the vaccine story. Want to make sure we're well-versed to make the decision IF we're going to and if so, when we're going to, and what ones we'll go for. Scary decision. But there you go.

After Chapters we went for lunch at The Red Door. Was there with Dena ages ago and thought mom might find it good. And it's in a neighbourhood she hasn't been to yet and I love, so off we went. Had a delicious lunch and headed out to Ikea where I bought a few drawer organizers for baby clothes (I don't think I need anything anymore! Went through 2 more rubbermaids last night that my sister-in-law gave us. I think we're pretty much ok for the first 6 months. Except "going out" clothes.) Anyway, bought a couple of pictures for the house too - after 1.5 years of living here, we're finally putting stuff up on the walls and had a blank spot to fill!).

So it was a great day, sunny and crisp. Today I'm going to tackle the front yard and hit the Scrapbooking Store to find an envelope for the little guy's Baby Book to put all the overflow info, stories, pictures, etc. I'm filling it up and he's not even born yet!

All for now. I'm exhausted from writing this so I might take a nap before hitting the yard. Oh the joys of pregnancy... I can get away with having a nap 2 hours after I get up!


Random updates.

Just a few notes for tonight:

Re: my cold. Thanks so much for your well wishes. This cold is actually the worse part of my pregnancy. It's been a breeze up until now. And it's just the cold that is bad, the pregnancy still rocks!

Re: rolling over at night. I was trying to put it into words but couldn't exactly find the right way to describe it. Some ways you all did was beached whale (yes), production (yes) ordeal (yes), but I've finally found the phrase that I've been trying to reach.... it's like a friggin' three-point turn! Seriously, it's like a 3-point turn.

Re: cloth diapers: back to wanting to use them. If they don't work with our little guys needs, we'll just use disposable instead. Done.

Re: vaccinations: just now ordered the Dr. Sears (his son actually, Robert I think?) book on vaccines. We'll see.... lots more posts on this topic, I'm sure.

And a final note before I shut the light off for the night: it is easy to second guess myself about so many decisions -from what colour to paint the nursery, to the circumcision decision. BUT, I do have to trust that I'm not the first woman to ever go through this. Every mom was, at one time, a first timer! I have to remember that and continue on.

And right now I'm going to continue on with putting myself into bed for the night! I'm exhausted.


Thursday, October 23, 2008

I'm dreadfully sick with a cold. Feel horrendous. Is it multiplied because I'm pregnant? Or are colds getting worse becuase I'm aging? Hey, last Christmas I was deathly ill with a cold, it was freaky. It was just a cold, but it knocked me out for three days.

Anyhoo, I'm sick. I have a cold. I can't think.

But a quick update: The D-Man and I have finally agreed on the circumcision dealio. It was Round 4 last night. He told me who he talked to, I told him who I talked to, then we both got on a computer and did some more research. I was visiting Dr. Pollock of Circumcision Vancouver (who, for some reason, kind of freaks me out. Reminds me of a hair-plug surgery website... scarey), and he was over visiting the folks of the Canadian Children's Rights Council.

On Dr. Pollock's website, it states that he gives them sugar-coated pacifiers to take their attention away. I voiced my concerns over this, and that "So he's trying to create an alternate reality for a newborn so he won't feel pain. A NEWBORN. CREATING AN ALTERNATE REALITY FOR A NEWBORN." Uh, hello???? Sybil, anyone? When Rabbit Howls anyone? (Ok, ok, that might be a bit extreme, but that's exactly where I went. I mean, it's just to take his attention away - and Donald does the same thing to get a bandaid off me.... but it still freaked me out). Anyway, as I was voicing my concern over this, Donald silently got up and walked into the kitchen.

"We're not circumsizing."

I was shocked silent. I mean, I thought we'd have a few more goes at this. What changed his mind was the information on the Canadian Children's Rights Council website.

So I didn't really know what to do at that moment. I saw the look on his face and my heart hurt. He looked almost defeated. I said to him, "I feel like I've taken a piece of you away."

His response?

"At least we won't be taking a piece of our son away."

So I knew he was ok and we had a good chuckle and actually chatted about it instead of butting heads. If only 13.9% of Canadian boys are now being circumsized (as of 2003), that tells me that our little guy isn't going to be the only one in the locker room with a different looking penis, so to speak.

Two battles over and done with: exclusive breastfeeding and circumcision. Next up, cloth diapers and vaccinations. Oh joy.

(I'm sad that simple conversations over these kind of things tend to turn into WWIII in our household. It always turns into a battle - one of us trying to "win". And that's sad because it's not about that, it's about trying to make the best choices for our baby until he can make his own choices. But we lose track of that most times. Perhaps bringing that into the consciousness will help to change things from here on out.)

All for now.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

3rd Trimester! Here we are. We've made it this far. Week 26. My god. Week 26!

(The cucumber pic is the only picture I could find that shows the relative size right now. Weird, I know.)

The little guy is still taking little breaths, even though it's amniotic fluid, it's still great practice for him. So he's a superhero to me now. I mean, did you ever try to breath liquid?

His little eyes are starting to open. HIS EYES ARE STARTING TO OPEN! He is in a growth spurt from here on out and his brain is developing at an intense rate - so nutrition is important right now. More grains and veggies! So much for the Ga Lei Bau and coconut bun (and caramel macchiato) I had for lunch. Hey, even mom has got to treat herself once in a while.

He might start jumping around more when he hears loud, unexpected noises because the nerve endings in his ears are still developing - so he responds to sound more consistently. And will from here on out. No pun intended (funnier when you say it outloud.) (or really not funny at all) (let me repost:) " he responds to sound more consistently. And will from here on out."
It's not even funny to me actually.

The placenta is equal in size to the little guy. Question - my placenta is in the front... if something happens that I have to have a c-section, will this be an issue?

And my belly button is now 1/2 and innie and 1/2 an outie. I'm having an identity crisis. My body is not my own. Weird things are happening. Werid spots showing up on my chest (that I thought was just sun damage - but it's getting worse and I'm covered up and not baking on the beach). No stretch marks though - still oiling up daily with the Escents aromatherapy stuff.

Rolling over at night is uncomfortable hilarious a production all on it's own. By the time I manage to get comfortable, I'm pretty much wide awake and have pissed off the cats and then Chicken starts to knaw on my foot and thinks it's Game On and "Oh yay, mummy's awake!" and Ling Ling just looks at me, turns her nose up and leaves the room.

At least I then have the bed to myself.

Until my husband rolls in around 3am, then it's a whole other production as I've got to get rid of my massive body pillow so he can have room too. ARGH.


The breastfeeding issue is no longer. Donald and I are on the same page and he's looking forward to all the other ways of bonding with the little guy. Circumsicion, on the other hand, is an ongoing issue - and I'm starting to rethink my decision based on what a few fathers have said, both circumsized and non-circumsized and who have circumsized their boys and some who haven't. It's been eye-opening, but it's not over yet! I still can't stand the thought of my child being cut. Of inducing trauma, knowingly. More research required...

And cloth diapers. Someone mentioned the other day that there is actually LESS diaper rash with disposables than with cloth because of the layering - that the pee is soaked into the diaper and away from baby's bum. Again, more research required. (It's not just about diaper rash, it's also about the environment but there you go.)

And another big one: vaccines. This is going to be difficult. Or perhaps not. I'm going to grab the Dr. Sears book and have a gander.

Also, your comments really help us to see through our fear of doing the wrong thing and our preconceptions, etc, so please continue to comment! Weigh in on the subjects - I love hearing from all of you. Makes me feel less alone in this journey. There's been a few lately that I have yet to respond to, but am going to in a few minutes, so feel free to browse through them for my replies.
Phew, this was a long one today.

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