I am SO not a Mommy Group person. Not at all. Not whatsoever.

I'll make idle chit chat with you during the program/group/session, but I won't go to coffee afterwards. Just not me.

Talk about uncomfortable. They're super-nice gals, truly. Just not my cup of tea. One gal (who sounded like she was about to crack) kept popping over to the side of the table where I was, putting her hands on her knees, bending down to me and saying, "How are you? Are you doing alright? How's it going?" I'm thinking, Fuck lady... I'm just feeding my son and having a latte. Chill the fuck out. (And I'm about 10 years her elder as well.) I know she was just being nice and welcoming and making the rounds. I know that. But people are still allowed to get on one's nerves, and this particular person at this particular moment in time, did just that. (Hindsight's 20/20, but I'm thinking she is a kindergarden teacher or something....)

So then it was off to walk back to the rec centre to weigh the little guy. I stayed at the coffee shop to grab one to go, so I got to walk back alone with Oscar. In the sunshine. In the fresh air. With the sidewalk to myself instead of trying to share with 8 other women and strollers (and carry on conversations). All the while, God must have been chuckling, because as luck karma would have it, I got back to the rec centre with chai tea latte ALL OVER ME.

And then, as luck karma would have it, I put Oscar on the scale and he PEED ALL OVER ME, and he PEED ALL OVER THE BLANKETS, and he PEED ALL OVER THE VOLUNTEERS. It was hilarious!

Hurricane Oscar strikes again.

So maybe I'll try the coffee shop one more time after all....

We're hitting the Mommy & Me session at the rec centre thismorning for something to do. I wish they served tea and cookies, but anyway....

They have it every Wednesday. I don't usually go (went once when Oscar was 4 weeks old) as the topics are not really in line with where he is right now, developmentally, etc, but thismorning's topic is TBA. When I called the Public Health unit to see if they have one yet, she said it's an open forum.

I was so excited! That's where you learn the most - when other moms are asking questions and talking about their own experiences! I'm really looking forward to it. I'm sure there will be a few questions about the Swine Flu as well (like, should we be stocking up on diapers and water, lol!) (ok, I was getting a little Art Bell Conspiracy Theory there...). All in all, I'm looking forward to it. To meeting other mom's as well. Not that I'm looking for new friends (I already have two), but it's nice to chat with these ladies and get to know them as I see some of them on Wednesday afternoons when I go to the weigh-in. And they all have kids older than me (well they did four weeks ago...) (ok, and they still do, but there are also new mom's with the most darling newborns!) so they know more than me and I can learn alot. And not feel like a retard or a bad mom for poking my son in the eye twice.

During the same diaper change.

Because they've all done that too.

Hopefully I'll meet a mom who's poked her son in the eye three times so I'll feel better about myself.

S.

How could I have not posted since Tuesday? I swear, it was yesterday that I wrote about crystals in his diaper.

I hear him waking up for his last feed of the night. Either that, or one of the cats has his rattle.

Have a bunch of drafts written, will peek through them this weekend and get something up soon!

Something I've been noticing since Oscar got his first shot is little tiny crystals when he pees. They're like little tiny bits of clear jello. He's not in any pain when he urinates, he doesn't seem to be in any sort of pain or discomfort at all, ever. No fever. Nothing.

Just these little clear jello-like crystals.

He's 2.5 months old... what's going on?

Anyone else experience this with little boys?

I'm in the top 100 pregnancy blogs!

Although sometimes I think I should be under the ADHD or Mental Health sections....

S.

Reason #1 for not wanting another child....

I don't want to push my luck.

I'm hearing SO much about babies being born prematurely (severely), with serious problems, or dying just before or just after birth. This is going on all around me. It's both totally freaking me out and also making me grateful that Oscar is so healthy.

I'm hearing SO much about complications during pregnancy. This, too, is going on all around me. My pregnancy was amazing. It was beautiful. It was easy. It was enjoyable. It was the best time of my life (until the little dude was born that is!). BUT... my previous two pregnancies were not so amazing as they both ended in miscarriages.

I'm hearing SO much about fussy babies. Crying babies. Babies that don't sleep. And again, this is going on all around me. Oscar? He totally rocks. He's not fussy. He's doesn't cry (that much). He sleeps no problem (except for the late afternoon nap and the first evening nap. He doesn't like those). He's all smiles and giggles and joy. Even when he cries, he stops and smiles when he sees me. He's he love of my life. Would I be so in love if he cried all the time? Would I be so in love if he fussed constantly? Would I be so in love if he was up every two hours at night? Or just didn't sleep?

Yes.

But I bet I'd be frustrated and cranky.

S.

Oh yeah, and I never want to go through the recovery I went through EVER AGAIN.

Yet another milestone!

I can't get over how quickly they grow and change and develop.

Oscar is playing by himself now. And when I say "play" I mean he's amusing himself in that sometimes when he wakes up, he's happy just to lay there and look around and coo and caw and stare at his hands. He's so friggin' well adjusted.

I'm learning so much from him already.

S.

A few things that have been happening:

1. Oscar loves to lay between us. Sometimes in the mornings when he's ready to get up but we're not, one of us will put him in the bed between us. He's happy as a clam, smiling, giggling, waving his arms and legs (ok, so part of the arms and legs waving around is still involuntary... but I'm SURE that part of it is also pure joy!). We have such a great time with him! It's a wonderful way to wake up, with this beautiful little creature giggling and cooing and smiling and just loving for no reason other than to love.... really, it's magical. We ARE a bit nervous that we may be creating a problem down the road, with a little boy that wants to crawl into bed with us constantly, but I look at it this way: he won't be doing it forever. Am I creating a monster here? Comments?


2. Yesterday he grabbed onto a toy... on purpose! He realized for the first time (or maybe it's just the first time I've noticed) that his hand is attached to him and if he hits at something... it moves! And sometimes it even makes a noise (other than his mother screaming and jumping for joy)! I put him down in his gymini for the first time in a few days and if he didn't focus on one of the hanging toys right away and start swiping at it! I couldn't believe it. Things are changing THAT FAST! He's growing and learning and developing THAT FAST! A friend of mine wrote me a note saying, "someday soon you will lose that wonderful infant yummy closeness... just revel in it as that is the true love of motherhood..." So you know what? I'm revelling in it.


3. Today I noticed something white protruding from his upper gums. Just like a little tiny round thing. He's only 9 weeks. It can't be a tooth pushing through. Can it? Is it more of the Epstein Pearls, only this time not on the top of his gums, but on the part where your teeth go? Epstein Pearls are supposed to disappear 1-2 weeks after birth. Oscar is 2 months along now.... And what are milk buds? Anyone have experience with this stuff?


4. In his 6th week he strung together his giggles to make a laugh. It was awesome! He was actually laughing! It only lasted for about 2 seconds... but Oscar laughed! He found me funny (or funny looking....)!

Just wanted to get some things down in writing before I forgot. There's not enough room in his baby book for all of this stuff!

Thank god for blogger.

Three important milestones today.

1. Oscar slept through the night last night!

He has in the past (like when he was brand spankin' new and very lethargic from the IV) (and again when we had the Thrush), but this time it was different. It was a milestone. It wasn't nerve wracking (at 5 weeks it's kind of scary) at 9 weeks. Well, then again, when I woke up at 6:30 I was all confused. I was wondering why I woke up on my own and not to a fussing baby. I couldn't remember if I had fed him during the night. When I realized I hadn't, total panic set in and I rolled over and put my hand on his chest to see if he was breathing! (The thought of SIDS terrifies me.) When I got a good look at him, I had to laugh. He was EXACTLY as I had put him down at midnight. Hadn't moved an inch I don't think. usually he manages to get out of the swaddle and has blankets and swaddles all askew and he's sideways in his bassinet. But there he was, asleep, a little angel, exactly as he had drifted off. He must have sensed me staring at him because he immediately woke up RAVENOUS and it was on!

2. Oscar was a total trooper when he got his shot today.

We got the 6-in-1 and will go back each month now for the PCV 7 and Men-C and then the boosters up until 6 months, and then continue (again, only one each visit) with the rest of the schedule. I can breathe a sigh of relief. God, I SO worry over things that don't exist/haven't happened yet. What the hell has happened to me? I never used to be this high strung. And it's been since WAY before Oscar came along. I hate being so off-guard. That's how it feels sometimes. But I digress... I'm just so proud of my little guy for being such a trooper today.

3. I had a great hair day.

Trust me, this is a milestone. Remember, I'm not doing well on the self-esteem or body-image scale these days, so I'll take any small amount of outside validation that comes my way. And this one I believed because it wasn't a friend (because they HAVE to tell you you are gorgeous and look fantastic), this was a gal at the McDonald's drive through window (HAD to get a sundae!!).

So there you have it. A great day. Two important milestones, one... not so much. An all around good day!

S.

Tomorrow Oscar has a playdate with Darwin.

I'm nervous.

Not because our children will be playing together (as much as an 8-week old plays, lol!), but because it will be the first day I will not be wearing maternity pants. I am going maternity-waistline-less for the first time since August, 2008.

I'm in that awkward stage where I've got about 10 lbs to go. My mat clothes don't fit. My normal clothes don't fit. I have low self-esteem and horrendously low body image right now.

I have a flabby belly and dimples on my ass.

For the first time in my life.

And I find it quite disgusting.

Worth it:

But still disgusting. I loved my body before pregnancy. I loved it EVEN MORE during pregnancy. But after?

Not so much.

I just want to fit into a size two four again.

I'd even take a six for a little while.

As much as I love yoga, it does nothing for the waistline. And I'm not into Bikram's. I'd die.

And my stroller is not made for speed walking - poor Oscar, it'd feel like he was on an amusement park ride!

I know it's only been 8 weeks, but God, I just want my body back. (Except the boobs... I'll keep these ones thank you!!)

s.

I'm just reading The Vaccine Book as we're scheduled for Oscar's shots on April 9.

We're definitely vaccinating the little dude, but the aluminum talk scares me. So much stuff in such a little person's system all at once!

I'm going to call Burnaby Public Health tomorrow to chat with someone about what brand of vaccine they use (not that I know anything about that but can research more with that particular info), and what levels of aluminum re in them and if I really have to worry here in Canada.

Basically, I'm just going to ask a lot of questions and probably call them a few dozen times.

Talk to me... anyone here in Vancouver/Burnaby staggered the vaccinations of their little ones, and why?

This is Picachu the Sea Turtle. He's my little friend.

Hey...how did he get there? Picachu the Sea Turtle kind of startled me!

Sometimes I forget Picachu exists, even when I'm holding onto him.

Oh My God! I'm holding him! Picachu the Sea Turtle is in my hand!

In case you couldn't tell, just a few minutes ago, Oscar learned how to hold something in his hand. On purpose even!


We were having some activity time and I put Picachu in his hand to see what he'd do. He closed his little fingers around him, threw his arm up in the air, and then followed it with his eyes! He knew what was going on!

YAY! Oscar learned how to hold onto something!

Next up? Times table.

We're off to the rec centre today to weigh Oscar again. He's gaining, he's healthy, all is good, just want to tap off this whole gong show with a final weigh in on the same scale for consistency.


Grampi and Nanny are in town visiting him so we're hitting the mall afterwards instead of sludging around Gastown and Robson in the rain.


So... last Wednesday when I went to weigh the little dude, The Warden was there. Interesting to watch the dynamics play out around her.





See, when she came for her visit with us when we brought Oscar home, she was a bully. She walked in with attitude (you could actually see it in her aura when she was pulling up the street!). I call it Power Over, Donald calls it Justifying her Job.


Either way, she was a bully. She was using fear to communicate with us.


It sucked.


For a new mother just home from the hospital with her baby, not getting sleep and not feeling well (by now you know O's birth story and my shitty recovery), it was overwhelming enough just breathing, let alone have this monster show up at your door.


Because I'm in a bit of a cranky mood right now, I could call her a b.i.t.c.h, but I won't. I'll stick with the Bully and Power Over dynamic. Because that's all it boils down to.


Anyway, to make a long story longer... walking into the rec centre last week was an interesting time.


She was sitting there with her folders and clip board, all alone in the corner. Interesting for sure.


After I took Oscar off the scale I wanted to chat with one of the nurses about his gain and chart it. Of course, as the universe is comical, I was assigned her, the Warden.


She had the nerve to motion "two minutes".


For what? She wasn't with another client. There was nobody waiting for her. She was sitting alone in the corner with her folders and clip board doing nothing. And yet she made me wait for two minutes.


I thought it was kind of funny then. I mean, I was in no rush at all, I had all afternoon. So I plopped down beside her and started to feed Oscar. After her two minutes were up, she turned to me and I SO WANTED TO ASK HER TO WAIT FOR A FEW MINUTES, but really, what was the point?


She wasn't such a bully this time. Surrounded by moms and babies who are now knowing more of what they are doing and are now more confident in their rolls as mothers, she had no power.


She knows babies in general, on paper only.


Moms know their babies.


Yes, it was very interesting.


I don't like people like that. Bullies. I have a few in my life that I've tried unsuccessfully for years to get rid of. Must mean I have more to learn from them I suppose....


Sigh.


S.