Last night I dreamt that McDreamy was the OB delivering my baby (and he was very polite and friendly!). I was so nervous until a nurse gave me a quick pep talk and then I rolled over to my left side and started to deliver that way. He was crowning - and there was absolutely no pain at all. Just the sensation of my body doing what it's made to do. And then everything stopped; I was so shocked that it was so easy and so painless that I froze in disbelief. McDreamy then started talking to me and the baby, gently saying, "Come on, you can do it, quickly now" and there was a sense of calm urgency in the room. I knew I had to relax totally and work with my baby in order for him to come out naturally. I looked up at the wall calendar and it was January 27 (which is my due date). Then I woke up.

Hmmmm.

I'm not sleeping again. I get about 3 or 4 hours a night, then wake up for 3, then sleep again for 3 or so. I think I'm nervous about labor and delivery. Not so much for the actual birth as much as just the whole experience. I mean, I've never done it before. I have no point of reference (which I quite like. I'm much better at things when I don't know what I'm getting into.) and I know that each person's experience is different, so even when people are telling me what they went through I know that mine will be different. It will be my own. Which I love as well! And I'll be in a weird place, physically, that I'm not familiar with: the hospital. Full of people I don't know in scrubs and uniforms. I just want to make sure I can be as comfortable as I want to be. Make my room "my own" so to speak. I'll have to fill it with "Stephi energy" to be comfortable - but that's easy enough I suppose. I have this thing where I want everyone else to be ok and I put myself last. I never want to step on anyone's toes (Come on... who wants to piss off somebody that will be poking around your vagina for the better part of their day?!).

I'll just have to focus on putting myself first - after all, it's about the healthy delivery of my little guy and my own safety and joyful experience as well!

Also, he's just so active that he keeps me awake. Seriously, like an alien is inside of me, poking and prodding me from the inside. It's the most bizarre feeling. I love it! And yet it's still very bizarre to have a little creature inside of you living it's own little life right now. It won't be long until I get to see those movements up close and in person! Which brings me to....

...early signs of labour. What are they? My OB said that I'd definitely know, and I'm sure I will, but what are the signs? (Besides water breaking.) Let me know if I'm on the right track here. Knowing me I'll want to be alone and go somewhere by myself (must tell Donald to be aware of that, because in the midst of it all I probably won't realize it!).

• Contractions that are regular and last for "x"- seconds instead of just here and there, and getting longer and stronger and closer together.

That's the only one I know of as a sure sign of labor. Anyone have any other tips for me?

As for my body getting ready to give birth, I've been told and/or have experienced a few of the following:

• More frequent bowel movement(s)/diarrhea
• Increased vaginal discharge - which is already happening
• Baby slows down movements
• Baby has "dropped" (but will I notice this? I hear that alot of the breathlessness will be gone (finally!), but other than that, will I know that he has dropped lower into my pelvis (or wherever they drop to?) Will I feel it? How can you not feel a baby pushing against your cervix, or wherever he lands...even if it is just the tip of his head!)
• Increase in boob size? Or is this after birth and when your milk is coming in?
• Wanting to nest. Yes, this has is happening too. I just want to stay at home with my husband and enjoy time with him.

So much stuff on the go! I'm so loving this whole experience. My pregnancy has been a dream, just so easy and uncomplicated. I'm so grateful for that. I've only got a few more weeks to go, let's focus on it staying that way!

All for now.

s.

Can anyone recommend when is the best time (and how) to buy a few nursing bras? I'm 8 months along and want to grab a couple over the next week or so (remember, I had that dream that my little guy came on Jan 15) but I'm not sure how big my boobs will be getting once my milk comes in. Or if that even affects it.....

Help!

A Twitter friend recommended buying now and buying one cup-size bigger. Yes? No? Another Twitter friend recommended nursing tanks from Sears - and will look at those for when I'm around the house (gotta love tank tops!), but I just am not sure how to go about it. And how many should I buy? I tend to buy things like this in threes. One for now, one for later, one for just in case (hmmm... sounds like last call!).

Would love your input! Thanks!

Something shifted last night and I woke up feeling odd, feeling off in a way. Just not the same. I don't know if he's moved down a bit and that's all it is or what's going on, but I just felt off. I was very hot and a bit crampy and even a tad dizzy for a few minutes. And so heavy. I physically felt heavy. Heavy belly. And really, really tight belly.

Could be emotions, I mean it's been a busy and emotional couple of days, but it was just so odd to me.

A few things I've noticed over the past few days is that he's on my bladder ALOT! I'm using the washroom ALOT. Like, waking up in the middle of the night a few times. And that hasn't really happened yet. And he's getting even MORE active in there! I thought he's be totally quieted down by now, but boy he's active still! I love it, I love feeling him roll around, it just shocks me in a way that it's still going on! Mom says he'll probably quiet down as he gets closer to making his appearance - so that's something for me to watch for. It's getting to that point for me now... I'm paying attention to everything that's happening with my body for signs of "It's time".

I'm currently reading Hypnobirthing by Marie F. Mongan. And you know something? It's, to me, written in a threatening manner almost. As though doctors are "out to get you" and just want to intervene to get it over with so they can get out of there. I'm only on page 121, but that's how it's striking me right now. 1st edition was written in 1992, 3rd in 2005. She's obviously had bad experiences with hospitals. There's a checklist of questions to ask the hospital should you choose to give birth in a hospital, and it's almost like "I dare you to find a hospital that has any of these attributes".

But you know what?

BC Women's has all of them. I'm just so happy with my choice for a hospital birth, especially at a baby-friendly facility. And so incredibly happy with my OB. She's open to my questions and suggestions and, so far, the experience that I would like for me and my baby.

Now, what I am enjoying about the book is how she communicates the connection you have with your yet-to-be-born baby. The communication you already enjoy with your child. And the connection you can have with your baby through the whole birth experience. And of course I'm looking forward to learning more about the whole hypnobirthing technique(s).

All for now. Here's a 35-week belly shot.

35 weeks along and what the heck is sticking out of my belly all the time?

I'm studying the picture above and trying to figure out if it's his butt that pops out above my belly button (bellybutton update: a full outie now) ,which I think it is because it's pretty big and pretty round. And when I say "big", I mean "almost the size of a tennis ball". Is that the size of a newborn bum? And then there's the mystery of smaller bits sticking out on either side of my belly button and even up under by my boobs/rib area. And sometimes little things sticking out all the way on my sides! Bizarre. He is still so active!

So there's alot going on as he's getting ready to make his public appearance!

He's around 5.25lbs and is about 18" from head to toe. Jesus, that's big. I'm still getting nervous and how much he's growing in there. His kidneys are fully developed and his liver can process some waste. My, how far he's come!

Freaky fact? My uterus has expanded to 1000 times it's original size.

I'm still only about 25 lbs heavier than usual. Didn't make it to the doctor appointment on Monday due to the snow, but weighed myself at home and still at 147. Which is HUGE for me, but all in the belly! Still pretty breathless - but I mean, my uterus is up under my ribs. Apparently when he drops, some of the breathlessness will ease up. Wish the heartburn would. I get it just from breathing for crying out loud. And I've been storm-stayed for three days and I only have 3 tums left and nothing is open tomorrow due to Christmas. Just delightful. I'll have to ease up on the turkey dinner (although mom already cooked it to get everything ready in advance, so really, our Christmas dinner is nothing more than leftovers.) (But leftovers ARE the best!)

And for mom?

I've got a few things left to do - forgot about his room for the past few weeks, so am packing away everything for him that is over the 3 month mark to make room in his dresser for all the newborn - 3 month clothing. We have SO much, it's insane. And I've only bought a handful of items. The rest were hand-me-downs and gifts. Just so much. It's great!

I have everything (almost) ready for the "hospital bag" so am packing that tonight. And will type up the birth plan and go over it with Donald. I just want to make sure we're on the same page - especially if anything happens to me and I am unable to communicate with the nurses or Donald. I've booked my hair appointment and massage and will book the pedi soon too. Then it's smooth sailing!

Just hope the rain comes soon to wash this snow away. Don't want to be 8 months pregnant and driving Vancouver streets with people that aren't used to the snow!

All for now.

S.