Friday, December 26, 2008

When I was very young I experienced a major trauma. And again in my teenage years. And through it all, when you'd think that I'd have no trust left in male authority figures in my life, there was still one man whom I felt safe around besides my father.

Only one.

And he died yesterday.

And I don't quite know what to do with that.

He was invincible to me. He was kind and considerate and fun and SAFE. The only safe man in my young life. And so giving. And so loving and gentle. And he's gone. And I'm just heartbroken. And my little guy will never have the chance to meet him.

And it's interesting to me that I married a man that has a few of my father's attributes, but also - in looking at it now - many attributes of this man as well. He's patient. He's hilarious! He's gentle. He's loving. He's incredibly generous in spirit, time, space and never-ending love and support.

And he's safe.

And I'm so grateful that I've found someone like that for me. And that we're starting a family. I'm very, very grateful today, as I mourn the loss of a tremendous person. And I mourn for his family and what they're going through and how much I love them.

If you're called to, you can donate in memory of Glen Hansen at Craigs Cause.
(UPDATE: website is down - will be back up on Monday Dec 29.)

S.

2 comments:

alix said...

Stephie,

I had one of these too (my paternal Grandfather) and he died when I was 13. This is a very unique kind of heartbreak....sending loving thoughts your way.

Anonymous said...

Oh Steph, what a beautiful tribute to my father...thanks a million for writing about him in the blog about your important event, and thanks for making me cry, I really needed it today as I have been in a bit of a fog. Love you!! Mona.

 
Who links to me?