Tuesday, January 20, 2009

39 weeks pregnant!

So thismorning I was up at 5am and glued to CNN for the inauguration when I got a bit of cramping. As I know it's any time now, I looked at the clock to time it. 16 minutes later I got another one.

Next one? 18 minute later at 5:38am. And then I fell asleep again until 6:15.

So no labour after all. But boy, was I excited!

I was talking with my brother thismorning and he asked if I was getting anxious. The only anxiety I'm feeling is because of the fact that I'm such a worrier - I found that I was starting to stress myself out and get all anxious again about unpopular choices and decisions we may make. I do have to remember the quote from my friend, "You are a good Mom, you love your baby, and you are the best person to make these choices, even if your choices aren't popular."

The thing is, I'm not a mom yet, so it's just me, Stephi, stressing about anything and everything. Worrying in advance. That's what I do. About things that haven't even happened, and probably won't happen! Crazy-making, that's what it is. I was chatting with my girlfriend about it - because she never wants to step on any toes, and has put herself out to make sure everyone else is ok HER WHOLE LIFE. A few simple words from her totally cleared the energetics around it for me, and I think it's because she said it wish such passion and conviction: "As soon as your son is born, that will all change. What other people think won't matter." People say that sort of thing all the time, but this was different. The passion she had around it! Beautiful! So I've let it go, and am now enjoying my last few days, stress free and worry free. It is what it is. It will be what it will be.

(Just to be clear, I'm not talking about anything in particular. I mean, I've got earfuls from people about cloth diapers and exclusive breastfeeding; NOT just keeping visitors at bay for a bit of time while we get to know our son.)

As for the labour, I'm actually rather excited about it...because it means he's on his way to us! Donald and I are so thrilled that we're this close to meeting our little guy! We are just beside ourselves and having so much fun. We've grown even closer these last few weeks, and it's been wonderful. The family dynamic has started to set in, could be that we're both nesting, and we're hunkering down.

In case I have a long labour (do NOT want to manifest that!), we have a tag team happening for when Donald needs to step out to get a bite or have a bit of a respite. We are not having a big gathering in the room during labour and delivery! Ewwwww.... viewing a baby coming out of my body is NOT something for anybody but me and my husband!! Just me and my husband and the necessary staff. I don't want to stress about making sure someone is where they're supposed to be or hanging out where they're NOT supposed to be, lol!!! So that's that, except if I need some help when he steps out. And I'm grateful that this person is willing to help because I just don't know what's going to happen, how long it may take, and I want to make sure my husband gets food into him and is doing ok during it all. And me, too.

And, got some good news... my dad is coming out for a visit! So exciting! He's going to try to get out for the one-month party; I so hope he can. If not, it will be a few weeks after that. Everyone is just so excited for the arrival of this little guy. My mom checks in just to make sure all is well, my brother, dad, friends and family from across the country. It's just awesome! I'm sure there'd be massive panic if I didn't get to the phone in time, lol!!!

Hmmmm... would it be bad if I pulled a wildcard?

Baby at 39 weeks: not much to report other than the average is 7 - 7.5 lbs and about 21 inches long. I'm sure there's WAY more to report, but no way of him communicating how he's feeling right now. Except for his happy little kicks! (Although there are new studies coming out about newborn memory and womb-memory, etc.)

Mom at 39 weeks: baby has dropped even more in the past day and I'm having even more difficulty sleeping throughout the night. I have to pee alot - ALOT - and he's just so active!

All for now. Our crib is in so I'm off shopping for a mattress.

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