Saturday, October 18, 2008

A question for the boys in regards to exclusively breastfeeding:

  • Do you feel that you missed out on anything because you didn't have the opportunity to feed your baby?
  • Did it take you longer to feel a bond with your child?
  • Do you feel you missed out?
  • Were you upset with your wife/partner for choosing to exclusively breastfeed?
  • If yes, why?
  • Did you feel left out of the equation?
  • Or was there ample opportunity to bond?
  • Did you take part in other apsects such as carrying, changing, bathing, napping, walking, playing, etc, with your child?
  • Did you find this time with your baby helped with your bonding experience?
  • Do you feel this was enough?

Ladies: please pose these questions to your husbands and let me know what they say in the comments. Or better yet, let the boys comment directly! I think my husband is really worried he'll not bond with the little guy easily if he doesn't feed him, and just wants to talk to or hear from other men who have been there. I figured this blog was a great place to start.

Thanks in advance!



alix said...

It's great that Dad is thinking about how to bond with Baby Boy. Dad's like to 'have a job to do'. Feeding is a way of holding and making eye contact while doing something that feels like a task. There is a big difference between putting breast milk in a bottle and having Dad feed him and putting formula in a bottle. I'm not sure from your post which you are considering. Taking breast milk out of the baby's diet and replacing it with highly processed food - no matter how organic or well-balanced - would represent a loss for the baby. I will forward this post to my Daddy friend Carey for a more direct answer and likely more amusing answer.

Anonymous said...

Bonding happens in so many ways - there are many things that moms do and dads do - right now my partner is playing "diner" with my two-year-old with patience that I could NEVER replicate.

Just holding and talking to that baby - gazing into his eyes will bond Baby Mohammed A-Lee and his Dad. Get Donald a sling - it's the best thing in the world. And let them nap together on the couch (bare chest to bare body) - the skin contact is the best thing.

So much for male opinions - eh - women still manage to get in there :)

Love to you and Little Bladder-Squasher!

Cunning_Linguist said...

I don't think I entirely missed out on the bond thing from feeding when it came to my son. I won't say that anything with my son is a "job to do" that needs to be dictated, but it almost seems we need our own exclusive area to reside. That special "daddy only" time I guess is more appropriate.

Of course in the long run I guess it doesn't matter too too much. After we do all of the what it takes to be a man stuff and rough house with them and teach them how to throw a ball..... they always look in the camera and say "HI MOM!". Eh.... whaddya gonna do.

Stephi said...

@alix: no formula unless something is medically wrong with me or my milk. Breastfeeding only, #2 would be breastmilk from a bottle or whathaveyou and last resort is
formula. I can hardly even get the word out of my mouth, but I'll do WHATEVER to make sure he's healthy and safe!

@Nicola: You DO make me smile. I'm looking for Baby Buddha sling on Craigslist right now.... lookikng forward to it. You had the Ergo I think? Saw that one too. But wait, don't nannies come with their own sling..... or at least grandma's? :)

@cunninglinguist: HAHAHAHA! Totally! That's the oneupmanship - boys always say "Hi Mom"! I must share this with my hubby tonight. Too funny. Thanks for your input - I'm a full believer that boys need their own space in the house, their "man room" so to speak, so of course they'd need their special time with their babies, to do the bonding that only they can do. Not trying to equate a garage or basement with raising a child.. but... I guess I kinda am! I appreciate you taking the time to comment, love the male perspective. And LOVE your Amy Winehouse post. But Katie Price? oh god.... :)

Vincent @ The Dad Jam said...

My wife exclusively breastfed Smarty Pants and is exclusively breastfeeding Sweet Cheeks. I am totally fine with this and happy knowing that my children are getting the best nutrition that they can at this age and building a great bond with their mom. I don't feel like I have missed out on any bonding, as I have bonded with them in many other ways. Smarty Pants is now two and a half, and my bond with him is just as strong as his bond with mum. The "bonus" for dad is that he doesn't have to wake up for the night feeds!

Stephi said...

@Vincent: Shhh...don't tell my husband that he doesn't have to wake up for night feeds... I plan on milking it (no pun intended) for as long as possible... hoping he'll bring baby to me and then clean up after and put him back to bed!

Vincent @ the dad jam said...

alright, i won't say anything :-) ... we had/have baby in our room at the beginning (urban living), so i was luckily excused from the "bring baby" duties ... but if baby is in another room, then by all means, milk it!

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