Friday, February 20, 2009

I've been having a horrendous time breastfeeding. Sore nipples galore. Like, horribly sore. Especially one side. But I was pushing through, somehow, until thismorning.

It was the 4am feed that pushed me over the edge.

Usually, the pain passes in a few minutes. Not this time. Oscar's little bottom lip just grazed my nipple and I screamed out in pain. And the tears started.

Mine, not Oscar's.

And didn't stop until I was on my way to the lactation specialist at BC Women's at 10:30.

It was just awful. I knew the latch was ok, in my heart I knew it. Everything was a go. He was set up well. He was latched well. So why the pain? And especially on the one breast? I mean, seering, seething pain that was so incredible it actually ran up my left arm and down my back.

That sort of pain.

Why can't I get this breastfeeding thing down? The latch seems ok, why can't I do it? Why can't I feed my son properly? I'm a bad mother. I suck. I'm a wimp. Everyone else does it, why can't I? Why the pain? What's wrong with me?

So that was it. I called my girlfriends for help. One of them recommended that I call the Lactation consultant at BC Women's and let them know about the pain and that I was ready to throw in the towel and hopefully they'd get me in to see them thismorning.

And they did.

And it was a success.

I have thrush.

Me and Oscar both have thrush.

I'm so grateful that it's something. That we can put our finger on it and treat it and I can continue to breastfeed.

I was *this* close to ending it all and turning to pumping & bottle feeding, that's how bad the pain was. And that's saying something as I was so looking forward to exclusive breastfeeding.

And I still can! I am feeding Oscar from the right breast only for now, pumping the left and feeding Oscar that milk through a bottle. Putting a topical cream (antifungal) on the right breast before feeding so he gets it too, and putting it on again (both breasts though) after feeding so I continue to get the medication. And, Oscar gets even more in liquid form after feeding via a q-tip soaked in it and rubbed all over his lips, gums, cheeks, tongue, basically all throughout his mouth.

And he's such a trooper that he doesn't mind. He doesn't mind the ointment on my nipple, the liquid in his mouth, he took to the bottle no problem and continues to enjoy the breast.

He's such a good boy. I'm blessed really. I can handle two weeks of this. My little guy is thriving and I will again too.

You have no idea how relieved I am that it's only a yeast infection and not the end of breastfeeding.


One thing I do wish, however, is that the hospital would have let me know that the antibiotics I received during delivery may lead to thrush and what to look out for. That would have saved me alot of tears and terror over the last 24 hours.



alix said...

Another big hurdle behind you. Way to go. This story will be a big help to other mom's. xxxooo

doglove said...

It absolutely will! Bravo to you Stephanie - for being so gracious enough to share your experiences with the world. :) You'll be feeling much better soon and can fully enjoy the experience again.

(((((Stephanie & Oscar)))))


Lexi said...

No matter how bad the pain is, it's the beating yourself up about it that's the hardest part... And even women without thrush have all, in the dark night of their souls, felt like throwing in the breastfeeding towel at some point in the first few weeks. Whether they'll admit it or not!

So glad you have an answer as to the why. You can deal with almost anything if you know it's temporary.

Love and speedy healing to you both!

Lily-Pie's Mom said...


As you know I just had my 3rd baby and I didn't realize the antibiotics could lead to thrush, either! How do you know you have it? I mean...other than the blinding pain! (Poor girl).

Glad you got your answer and that everything will be okay for you both.

Anonymous said...

Goodness - I'm glad this worked out! I have been following your blog the last month. Congratulations on little Oscar - I love that name!

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