Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I am SO not a Mommy Group person. Not at all. Not whatsoever.

I'll make idle chit chat with you during the program/group/session, but I won't go to coffee afterwards. Just not me.

Talk about uncomfortable. They're super-nice gals, truly. Just not my cup of tea. One gal (who sounded like she was about to crack) kept popping over to the side of the table where I was, putting her hands on her knees, bending down to me and saying, "How are you? Are you doing alright? How's it going?" I'm thinking, Fuck lady... I'm just feeding my son and having a latte. Chill the fuck out. (And I'm about 10 years her elder as well.) I know she was just being nice and welcoming and making the rounds. I know that. But people are still allowed to get on one's nerves, and this particular person at this particular moment in time, did just that. (Hindsight's 20/20, but I'm thinking she is a kindergarden teacher or something....)

So then it was off to walk back to the rec centre to weigh the little guy. I stayed at the coffee shop to grab one to go, so I got to walk back alone with Oscar. In the sunshine. In the fresh air. With the sidewalk to myself instead of trying to share with 8 other women and strollers (and carry on conversations). All the while, God must have been chuckling, because as luck karma would have it, I got back to the rec centre with chai tea latte ALL OVER ME.

And then, as luck karma would have it, I put Oscar on the scale and he PEED ALL OVER ME, and he PEED ALL OVER THE BLANKETS, and he PEED ALL OVER THE VOLUNTEERS. It was hilarious!

Hurricane Oscar strikes again.

So maybe I'll try the coffee shop one more time after all....


Mommy Project said...

ha ha ha!

Lexi said...

I won't be impressed until he pees in someone's eye... grin

Anonymous said...

I totally agree about the mom group thing, any sort of gathering of moms actually. I didn't/ don't like the whole "my baby is better than your baby" vibe, as well as my own need to make other moms feel less inadequate when my baby did/ does something totally flabbergasting that their baby was/ is months/ years from doing. I mean come on, babies are individuals, so of course they are following their own paths and the need to fit everything in tiny little boxes should have gone out with last century, shouldn't it?

Stephi said...

@MommyProject, glad you got the humour in it all! BTW... I'd TOTALLY be in a mommy group with you anyday. Actually, we kinda are!!!

@Lexi, I still laugh at that. Especially now that I know him and have seen him try to eat sticks.

@MRBM: the vibe I got from these moms was pretty good (the vibes one can pick up on from two tables away wondering WTF one is doing there...). They were super nice and really friendly and totally supportive (I pointed out the terror of a new mom and her baby's weight.. yeah, me... still worried about Oscar's weight) and helped me to relax (for five seconds), but really, I'm not a "group" kinda gal. And I'm ok with that. But I DID totally want to jump in the sleep conversation by jumping up on my chair and announcing to everyone in North Van, "Oh Yeah? Well MY son started to sleep through the night at NINE WEEKS."

I'm simply not a joiner. Not at all.

Stephi said...

PS: @Anonymous... yes, I don't like when people try to fit ME in a tiny little box, so why try to fit a baby. Another individual. Another person. Yeah, uh, no.

SP said...

Hilarious and inspiring. I'm 39 and hoping to be a mom one day. If I'm lucky I will keep the same sanity that you still have.

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