Friday, May 30, 2008

Week 5, day 3.

Guilt is a bitch.

And unhealthy.

But it still comes.

I'm feeling like shit right now. Complete and utter shit. But I've got SO much to do for the business right now, so many things on my task-list to complete thisafternoon, but my stomach is rolling (more than the nausea this time) and I just want to lie down.

But I'm too busy to lie down! I'm preparing donations for three golf tournaments, an awards show, a spa night and a green business conference. I've got to send a "friends and family deal" email out to, well, friends and family (duh), in the name of social proof. I've got to do some keyword research and analytics on my web visitors. I'm writing an ebook, I'm creating a contest, I've got to switch around some services. ARGH! I've got too much to do to take a 1/2 hour rest and just "be".

I promised myself this time I would totally listen to my body and do what it's telling me instead of pushing myself like the other times. Instead of beating myself up when I needed to rest. Instead of getting mad at myself when I woke up at 8am only to need a nap again at 9:30am and SLEEP FOR SIX HOURS.

But I run my own business. I work out of my home. I'm in my lululemon pants. I can rest and simply pick up where I left off later. That's the glory of an internet-based business. The internet never sleeps. I can make my own hours. That's why I started this business. So to hell with the guilt! I have to remember, I have nothing to feel guilty about. I'm pregnant for crying out loud! It's delightful! (But, I will stop EVERYTHING when Battlestar Galactica comes on at 7pm tonight. I'm a closet sci-fi freak. Nanu Nanu.)

If I don't lie down, I'll feel like a bad mother for not looking after this little tiny embryo who's depending on me to survive.

Ah, there. Feel better now (the conscious, not the stomach). It's clear.

I'm hopping over to the couch. I think Chef-at-Home is about to come on, so that will be nice for a small respite.

All for now.

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